S1m0ne

© 2002 New Line Cinema
Directed by: Andrew Niccol
Written by: Andrew Niccol
Starring: Al Pacino, Catherine Keener, Pruitt Taylor Vince, Jay Mohr, Rachel Roberts, Jason Schwartzman, Elias Koteas, Rebecca Romijn-Stamos
U.S. Theatrical B.O.: $9,492,087
cumulative critic score on Rotten Tomatoes: 47% positive (out of 151 reviews)

 

INT. MOVIE THEATER

TV show 'ROB & ROB AT THE MULTIPLEX,' en medias res. Rob 1 and Rob 2 sit in a vacant theater and are talking to the camera.


ROB 1
Ok, next up is that one movie. I really liked the actress the uh ex-wife and wanted to see more of her but alas this was not to be in an age of phallocentric productions, even one as blatantly po-mo as this one. Here's a summary. At some point the main guy undergoes an existential crisis sparked by his forgetting to publicly thank himself. In the end, a family is brought back together via the technological lie they share. Rob?


ROB 2

Rob the actress you're talking about is Catherine Keener. I'm not really sure what she's doing in this movie, or what anyone's doing in this movie really, but you know these Hollywood execs should pay attention and make a movie that's all about her. Like, 'Die Hard on a bus,' but with like no bus or dying, just Catherine Keener. All right let's cut to our favorite line.

CUT TO:

MOVIE SCREEN

Scene from New Line Productions, Inc. 2002 production 'SIMONE.'

SIMONE
(on video screen)

I just want to start, by apologizing for my process. But I just find, I relate better to people when they aren't actually there.


CUT TO:

INT. MOVIE THEATER
ROB 1
And there you have it folks, a credo for the cell phone and instant messenger generation. Now if you'll excuse us, I've got an infinite regression of video and computer screens to stare at. I'm Rob --

ROB 2
And I'm Rob --

ROB 1
And we'll pretend to not see you, at the movies.

 

 

from Project Blackboard (© 2005-06 Sinlechuga / Dan Hoy)