Never Been Kissed

© 1999 20th Century Fox
directed by: Raja Gosnell
written by: Abby Kohn & Marc Silverstein
starring: Drew Barrymore, David Arquette, Leelee Sobieski, Molly Shannon, John C. Reilly, Jessica Alba
U.S. Theatrical B.O.: $55,469,238
cumulative critic score on Rotten Tomatoes: 58% positive (out of 60 reviews)

 

From the creators of Drew Barrymore comes this uncanny indictment of the post-millennial[1] condition. The public sphere swallows privacy whole in its quest to make all intimacy ironic (e.g. reality TV, blogs, Friendster/MySpace) as star & exec producer Drew goes undercover at a local high school so her paper can get a story and (one assumes) we can be an audience. But then Drew’s coworkers co-opt our audienceness once Drew attaches a tiny camera to her lapel, as if movie watching weren’t passive enough: we could spend the rest of the movie watching them watch the movie. Want to know how to react to a scene but don’t want to work up the energy to actually react to it? Don’t worry, the Audience Surrogate will laugh and cry for you. Yet the Audience Surrogate is unperturbed by the implicit moral & statutory quagmires, such as adult Drew pining for underage Guy and adult Drew’s Brother (David Arquette) dating 16-Year Old Virgin Gymnast and adult Hip Teacher falling for what he thinks is a minor Drew, so there’s still hope for an unmediated real audience reaction. That is, until Drew obliterates such hope by confessing her and everybody else’s sins in the very public arena of the prom, the communal catharsis of which so stimulates the Audience Surrogate that it splits amoeba-like into the prom-goers and the coworkers-via-video-link, applauding in unison, so we don't have to.[2] (Was I the only one bummed that she ratted out her brother? I mean he just wanted to play ball and she ruined his big chance so she could morally purge herself.). After that, there’s no turning back. The movie ends with a double negative affirmation: private life is spectacle and love can’t exist unless it's public. Drew’s Boss: “I love this. [The audience], out here en masse, relating personally to one of our reporters” as she stands totally alone and barely visible at the center of a baseball diamond, separated from us by a field, a fence, and an audience.

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[1] actual release-date was pre-millennial 1999, making this the most culturally prophetic rom-com ever

[2] addendum: I totally misremembered this scene. I just watched it again and Drew cuts off her video-link right before her public confession — as if to distinguish between immediate audience (studio audience = good) and distant audience (home viewers = bad). Yet she later renegs on this distinction with a cubist vengeance at the baseball stadium as she herself (as the spectacle) splits at least three-fold: her face on the field, on the stadium screen, and on the TV for those at home.

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© 2005-06 Sinlechuga / Dan Hoy