The Break-Up

© 2006 Universal Pictures
Directed by: Peyton Reed
Written by: Jeremy Garelick and Jay Lavender
Starring: Vince Vaughn, Jennifer Aniston, Joey Lauren Adams, Cole Hauser, Jon Favreau, Jason Bateman, Judy Davis, Vincent D’Onofrio
U.S. Theatrical Box Office: $39,172,785 (first week)
cumulative critic score on Rotten Tomatoes: 32% positive (out of 133 reviews)

“Arrested for what? For being awesome?”

To be honest it kind of bummed me out. I was expecting something light and trite and inexplicably profound (I laugh/I cry/I stare blankfaced) and instead subjected myself to something kind of actual, with awkward silences and everything. As if relationships are just dead babies we carry around until one of us decides to let go, the unfortunate other left standing there thinking “Now what the fuck am I supposed to do with this dead baby?” Other than that, the Cole Hauser quote above made me laugh harder than anybody except the guy sitting behind me, whose unabashed guffaws I used as a “no really, this is funny” barometer for the rest of the movie. Aniston and Vaughn were good. Favreau was good. Vincent D’Onofrio was so good as a quiet ball of earnest awkwardness that I didn’t even recognize him until his last scene, after which the bad D’Onofrio taste in my mouth I’ve had since The Velocity of Gary (Very 90s indie hetero/homo AIDS rom-com notable for ruining Patsy Cline for me forever) was retroactively turned into an affable smell; and Jason Bateman was good enough to remind me that I did in fact walk into a store and lay down cash money for Teen Wolf Too the other day. So besides all that, I’ve got a dead baby for sale if anyone’s interested.

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© 2006 Sinlechuga / Dan Hoy